theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Randomize
