i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
