Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Randomize
