Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
