Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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