do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
