I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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