is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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