had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
