I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
