I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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