My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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