just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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