i think i have herpe
just one?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
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We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
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We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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