Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
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