I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
