Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize