Sry I called you an 8
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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