i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
