My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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