Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
