Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize