So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
