white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
