so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
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