the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
