he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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