i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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