1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She bit a glass in half.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
