ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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