He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
