Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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