Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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