Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
