If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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