you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize