period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Just invented taco cereal.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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