ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
