I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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