Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
