Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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