Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Randomize
