I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
