After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
