I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize