he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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