so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You dont lie about slip and slides
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
