i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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