clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
