im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
It's no shave November. This is our time.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize