My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
