Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
