Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
