I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
