Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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