Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
