he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
