you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
