So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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