In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
