I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize