You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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