that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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