he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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