Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
