Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
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I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
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I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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