it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
